Being your own detective

Have you ever found yourself in what I like to call ‘post-rehearsal’? Re-playing a conversation or event over and over in your head, thinking about all the things you coulda, shoulda, woulda said or done? Maybe feeling tense, anxious, angry, or in despair?

Well guess what? You’ve been triggered.

I’ve been there. And admittedly, it can get a bit ugly. But, here’s the beauty of a trigger. It’s information. It’s your mind and body’s way of telling you that there’s something here to pay attention to. Something here to heal.

The first step of translating this mental mishmash to meaningful message is to notice that it is happening. For me that usually sounds like, “Hey! Wait a minute. I’ve just spent the last 10 minutes/ three hours/5 days having that same conversation with myself. What the what?”

The second step is to ‘down regulate’ your nervous system. Take a few deep breaths, look around to orient yourself in the here and now, feel your feet on the floor.

This gets you ready for my favorite part - putting on your detective’s hat and getting curious! Asking yourself “What’s actually going on here?” “What does this situation or feeling remind me of?”  “When have I felt this way before?”

Today I invite you to notice where you get caught in post-rehearsal. Then dust off your magnifying glass and start sleuthing. Sometimes, it will be easy to figure out what’s going on. Other times you may need to invite in another detective to help sort through the clues and solve the mystery. But trust me, the peace and transformation it can bring to your life is well worth the exploration.